The Kingdom

"Hey," he repeated softly. She continued to lean against the railing gazing at the tumultuous waves crashing over each other, oblivious to his presence.
Sighing, he inched closer and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around startled and took a step backward hurtling violently on the flimsy railing. "You?" she whispered. "how are you back here?"
"I was always here." he responded nonchalantly as he extended his hand to meet hers which she promptly drew back.
"No," she said slowly, "You gradually and amiably disappeared from here. Why are you back?" she demanded.
"You tell me." he asked lazily as he stood next to her gazing at the waves which seemed to have taken the form of a violent tsunami. Looking mighty concerned at the approaching water, she feebly asked. "How would I know?"
The wave crashed over them, drenching them from head to toe. She instinctively gripped his hand tight to steady him from the impact of the wave and held on as the second wave crashed onto them.
"Make this stop," he requested lightly, "I am not a water person as you well remember?"
"How can I make it st--op?" she whimpered as the third wave hit them but even as she said it, the ocean ahead seemed to abruptly become calm.
"Like this!" he replied with a grin as he interlinked his fingers in her hand. Freeing herself from his grip she firmly folded her hands and said, "Please leave."
"From where?" he asked a tinge of annoyance seeping into his voice.
"Here."
"And what is the place?"
She faltered slightly as she said, "The inside of my.. mind."
With a smug expression, he sat on the car parked next to the railing and asked, "So who is responsible for my being here in the first place?"
Unwilling to answer the question, she sank down on her favorite bean bag and held her head between her hands.
"Look at the mess here," he commented gesturing at the expanse of ocean littered with books, faces of people, penguins, dinosaurs, mystical rocks among other things. "I cannot believe you call it your Kingdom. I have never seen anything that is less likely to function as a Kingdom! How do you even think here?"
His question was met with silence.
"I bet his mind is well organized." he continued casually, "what is the word you used for it? Oh right- compartmentalized. Does he call it Kingdom too?"
Her head shot up in an instant as she asked, "Whose mind?"
He grinned and helped himself to a stray Agatha Christie book. Standing on to her feet, she crossed the distance between them and asked, "Who are you talking about?"
"The replacement." he chuckled.
"There is no replacement," she said fiercely, "he is his own person!"
"Good, then shall I go?"
"Please do."
Smoothly jumping off the car, he made his way to the door he had left half open and without sparing her a glance, shut it behind him.
She stood motionless in the void. The sea has receded and left behind just a vast stretch of land where her possessions and thoughts lay strewn. There was absolute silence.
Then in a swift moment, she jerked open the door he had shut and called out his name into the darkness beyond,
"Yes?" his voice reverberated from within.
"Please, can I see you for a moment?"
"No, but you may hear me." he said, his voice betraying not a trace of emotion.
Unfazed, she spoke into the darkness, "The reason I brought you back was because-"
"You can't write?"
"Yes." she admitted.
"You are writing now..." he countered.
"It is not the same and you know it."
"The replacement is not working for you?" he asked cheekily.
"Okay, this conversation is over." she said making a move to shut the door but stopped midway.
"What now?" he asked.
"Listen.. umm.. do I visit your mind? At all?" she asked self consciously.
"I.. I really can't answer that." said his voice.
"Its okay." she said but stood mutely by the door.
After a while, his voice came from the abyss as he said, "You do realize, don't you? I live in your mind... not in mine."
"Yes, yes, you are -"
"A stranger to myself? A figment of your imagination? The only muse you ever had?"
All he heard in response to that was the sound of the door shutting.

What if?

Dedicated to

Our Dreams

“What if?” he repeated.

She stared at him, a face she had known for as long as she could remember, and saw his brow contract in apprehension, eyes narrow slightly as he anticipated her reaction. Rendered speechless by his question, she felt an immense sense of déjà vu overtake her being. He sensed her unease and put his hands on her shoulder reassuringly.

“I know that was over twenty years back. This is not what you are looking for, right now” he smiled. “It was silly of me to ask,” he murmured and turned around.

Standing rooted to the spot, she watched as he walked out of her room and lightly slung his office bag over his shoulders, turned around and waved. Involuntarily, she felt her hand return his wave, but quickly brought it down as she detected the frown on his forehead. When he shut the door behind him, she felt a rush of memories come back to her.

***

“What if?” he asked with a slight grin.

She was sketching a lightning shaped scar on his palm as they sat across each other in the school library. They were the last seventh graders left in the library as most of their class had left for sports.

He nudged her slightly to get her attention. “Hey!” she protested as her pen skidded slightly on the surface of his hand. “Answer me!” he instructed drawing his hand away from her grip. She glared at him for second, then crossed her hand and challenged him, “Why do you want to go to New Zealand?”

“Not again,” he groaned, “I told you already, it is the adventure capital of the world. We could do Bungee Jumping, snorkeling,-”

“I want to go to London first, visit Hogwarts…” she began but he interjected her swiftly- “Did you know about the glowworm caves in New Zealand?”

 As he saw her eyes widen, he knew her attention was entirely his and wished he had researched more on those caves. Nevertheless, he spent the next hour telling her elaborate lies and made up facts about the (magical?) glowworm caves and she finally conceded, “Fine! We’ll save enough money to go to New Zealand.”

“Great!” he exclaimed standing up, “I’ll go Bungee Jumping and you can read your books in the glow of the worms” he laughed and swinging his bag over his shoulder exited the library.

Over the years, she’d always look back fondly at that scene and squash the thought that of all the adventurous kids in the class, he had asked her.

***

“What if?” she prodded.

They were sitting atop the small grass mound in their favorite park. It was close to dusk and the mosquitoes had started buzzing in their ears. He neatly slid down and lay against the grass staring at the purple sky. “Oye,” she said irritably and smacked him lightly on his head.

“What the-” he said and sat up straight facing her.

“Answer me!” she implored.

“What if we go on a world tour?” he asked incredulously, “Where do you get such ideas?” he smirked.

“From you!” she said with a slight smile.

“Me?” he asked looking surprised.

“Yes! Remember we discussed this five years back? We’d see the world? I know we haven’t saved enough but it is a start, so-”

“Wait!” he interrupted her babble.” Your big idea is to go on a world tour with me?”

“We could start with New Zealan…”

“Just… you and me?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah…”

“Dude, what will she say?”

“Who is she?”

“My girlfriend!” he stressed.

“She can come too…” she said her voice taking a note of uncertainty.

“You are impossible!” he laughed, “If she could come, would I take you on that trip then?” he winked at her and then stared into the distance a longing look etched on his face oblivious the disgusted one on hers.

Without much ado, she got up, dusted herself, and began walking away.

“Oye!” he screamed after her, “Wait for me…”

Turning around she fiercely retorted, “I don’t see any point in doing that anymore! Goodnight!”

As he watched her storm away, he felt an unexpected lump rise in his throat. Getting up swiftly, he made to run after her when his phone rang, a grin spread across his face as he said into the mouthpiece, “Hi sweetheart…”

***

“What if?” he asked urgently.

She threw the last of her books in the bag and turned to face him. “What now?” she demanded as he handed her a folded set of clothes which she unceremoniously dumped into a suitcase. Feeling slightly repulsed, he continued, “What if you go a week later? I have holiday from work now and the vouchers for Australia can be redeemed at a week’s notice!”

“First thing, I cannot miss the first week of graduation school-“she began, throwing her hands in the air dramatically

“It is a bridge course! The actual term starts in two weeks!” he argued patiently as he brought her hands down.

“And second,” she said with gritted teeth, “I cannot avail to a couple’s vacation voucher to Australia. What will my parents say?”

“Aah… where did you hide this righteous and honest woman three years back?” he said sardonically.

“Oh! You are impossible... pass me my shoes…” she said with a look of utmost contempt.

“No, I am serious, where is my best friend who would egg me day and night for this godforsaken trip?”

“Well you had your chance and you lost it!” she said lightheartedly not knowing the impact those words had on him.

***

“What if?” she asked tentatively.

“What if I postponed my wedding?” he challenged sarcastically.

“No, but what if you make a quick trip here before the wedding?”

“You mean travel across the world to spend time with you a mere twenty days before my wedding?”

“I cannot get enough leaves to come for the wedding because I am…”her voice faded into the darkness which stared back at him.

“Yes,” he breathed deeply into the phone, “you are living my dream.”

“Hey,” she whispered, “are you okay?”

He paused, glancing at his watch which showed him that it was probably lunch time where she was. Stifling a yawn, he said, “Yes, I am fine… just sleepy.”

“I repeat, are you okay?”

“No,” he surrendered.

***

“What if?” began his email, “you meet me at our old spot tomorrow evening?”

Her heart halted as she read and reread the words. It had been five years since she last saw him. Without missing a heartbeat she replied, “What if you came home for dinner? You will survive my cooking.”

***

The door opened as fast as it had shut, jerking her back into the present from the realms of past conversations with her best friend. She was still standing where he had left her.

Walking back with an apologetic smile, he said, “I forgot my car keys,” and made his way towards her bedside table.

“Yes!” she whispered half to herself.

“What?” he asked halting midway.

Turning to him with a bright smile on her face, she said, “You asked me, what if we took that world tour now? I am saying, YES!”

“Are you sure?” he asked with a glint in his eye, “But what about…”

“Sssh,” she held her hands up, “No ifs and buts!”

“We are almost forty…”

“Thirty four,” she asserted firmly.

Smiling in spite of himself he continued protesting feebly, “And what about your…”

“’I’ll take care of it,” she smiled.

“But then there is also…”

“We’ll figure it out once I have booked us for New Zealand,” she said with an air of finality and began browsing on her laptop as he gazed at her with a bemused expression.

 “Now, these glowworm caves, are they in Auckland or…?” she looked at him questioningly.

“Errr”

“I knew you fibbed about them back then!” she said smugly.

As he stood looking at her, he could have sworn he saw a twelve year old girl smile back at him through those playful eyes.

***

A New Story?

She straightened the crease that had appeared in the folds of the wrinkled table cloth and leaned back to admire the effect. A new palpable energy seemed to course through her being as an involuntary smile made its way to her lips. Lifting her bag in a swift motion, she made her way out of the house, smiling to herself as she strode down the stairs.
He was waiting for her in the ascending whirl of car parks. She looked up at his form, dark against the setting sun. He seemed as usual, unassuming, his eyes on her every movement, the gleam in them brightening as she came closer.

She was surprised when her heart skipped a beat.

***
He opened the door to find her there. Her smile was nervous and her eyes held the fear that was reflected in his. A babble of people had come with her. Pleasantries were exchanged and talks commenced. A crazy bandwagon seemed to have descended upon him.
In between the laughs, the fun and talks, his eyes sought her and found more often than not that she was looking back at him. Gradually the fear in them eased and they laughed as she laughed. He was relived to see that they could still communicate without words. The world around him had started to blur as he decided  his next course of action.

He saw her glance up in surprise as he made way towards where she was sitting and resolutely sat next to her oblivious to roving eyes and teasing comments.

A smile lingered on her lips for long after.

***
They were sitting in a horse cart that was a rare leisurely attraction of a city which was known for its fast pace. The ride took them along the sea face of the island. She smiled as the horse rider gave her tidbits about the city that she knew so well. He watched her with interest as the man proceeded to tell her about the mosque and the temple on the coast of the city which together protected it from the sea. He was amused as she took genuine interest in the story and engaged the rider in continuous discussion.
When she showed no signs of stopping, he gently took her hand in his.
He could feel her tense against his shoulder as her speech came to an abrupt halt. The horse rider gave a knowing cough and became duly silent.
The salty sea air caressed her air as the cart rode smoothly along the glittering sea line.
Then slowly she turned towards him and smiled. He returned the smile warmly as their fingers interlinked.


She was aware it was a new chapter being written.... but was it an entirely new story?

New Year vs Old Year

New challenges or trails and tribulations,

Fresh fiery sparks or old extinguished fires,

Ecstasy of happiness or the gloom of sorrow,

Flush of true love or the pain of broken heart,

Engulfed in a crowd or lonesome on street,

Successful innings or failed endeavors,

New Year OR Old Year,

It is all the same and same difference!